Old McDonald is a Subjugator

Lets talk for a moment about dignity. Dignity is defined as a state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect; a sense of pride in ones self; a high or honorable rank or position. The animal kingdom in many instances is refered to as being a dignified sphere. There is the mighty lion "King of the Jungle", the faithful dog "mans best friend", the industrious honey bee "busy as a bee". The list could go on and on. Indeed, the animal kingdom is filled with honorable or dignified animals.

However, what I would really like to talk about are the animals who have somehow dropped the ball. Yes, there are animals who are less-than-honorable. These animals who are the rejects of the animal world are soooo embarassing that long ago someone decided to gather them all up and lock them up so that they could not infect the rest of the honorable animal kingdom. The "prisons" that are used to contain the mind-boggling stupidity of these animals are called farms. That is right, if the animal kingdom was Hollywood, farm animals would be Jim Carey.

These animals are so retarded that even their names are use as insults (pig, cow, and chicken for example). It should also be noted that the only reason for the existance of these animals is to get them fat and then kill them. And they seem to be totally ok with that! Lets go down the list.

Pig: Pink. Seriously? PINK! Pink is, all by itself, a bad joke just waiting to happen. Almost every animal in nature has some sort of camouflage. Tiger stripes look like grass, lizards can change their color to blend in, eagles have white bellies to blend into the sky, etc. What must a predator think as he is out hunting for his food? "Hmmm, grass, bark, sky, water, oh hey there's a pink fleshy thing over there!"

Pigs will eat almost anything. Pigs are the only animal that I can think of that really don't care what they eat. Vegetables, meats, grains, milk, grass, feathers, drugs, paper bags, each other, dirt, you name it and they will eat it! It's amazing! One time I actually saw two pigs trying to eat a live chicken that had gotten its head stuck in the fence.

This brings me to my next animal:

Chicken: Very possibly the stupidest animal on earth. Lets put it this way, no animal that can still run a marathon after it has been decapitated can possibly have too much going on pre-decapitation. It's kind of a testament that they don't use their brains too much. Think about it, with a brain they run around aimlessly, pointlessly, and clumsily. Without a brain they run around aimlessly, pointlessly, and clumsily. Besides the whole headless horseman thing they are just stupid animals. Just the thought of a chicken often brings a small chuckle to my lips. Why? They can't fly even though they have wings, they can't think even though they have brains.
A chicken is quite possibly the only animal that is literally incapable of living in the wild. When was the last time anybody came across a wild himalayan chicken? Not so much.

Cow: What do cows do all day? nothing. They just eat, get milked, and stare at nothing all day. Every day! I don't know about you but I start to get bored after a few minutes of getting milked. (You can milk anything with nipples! ha ha) Seriously though, how could any dignified animal be content standing around...standing around all day. Their everyday lives are so boring that they don't even have to lay down to go to sleep.